For her 18th birthday and graduation gift from me my daughter gets this old purple book. It doesn’t look like much and most people would think I was crazy.
In 2002 I started a journal for my daughter. She was about 18 months old and I decided I needed to write down the little every day moments we tend to forget over time. Not the big momentous times but the little every day things that get lost in our memories.
The first entry was a letter to her for her 18th birthday and graduation explaining why I was writing her the journal and if for any reason I couldn’t be with her that I had all kinds of visions of the kind of person she may be and what I hoped I could teach her along the way. Truth be told, I never pictured myself growing old. Since I was young I always thought I would die younger. I don’t know why it is just a belief I had. So, I wanted to be sure that no matter what that my daughter knew that I dearly loved her and how proud and happy I was to be her mom.
I just finished writing the last entry to her. I wanted to share a bit of it with all of you.
This is it girlie!
This will be the last entry I write.
I love you and though I know I was not the perfect mother I hope you know I always tried to do what was best for you. It is the last day of your childhood. I hope you are able to look back over time and have joyous happy memories to share. I hope that you can see the times of great learning, great joy, and great love for there were many.
I end this journal just as I began it … “If for any reason I am unable to be with you consider yourself hugged and loved with a deepness and breadth that only heaven can hold because I love you more than this world could understand. I am so proud of you, Angel. Whatever you do, where ever you go I am proud you are my daughter and I am privileged to be your mommy.”