In the past four years my blog has morphed from being solely about the dinner game I have been playing with my family to something much more. It is our family relationships, how we deal with life and our adventures in how to make this life memorable for all of us. It is also the food but the food is slowly becoming just a piece of our story.
The picture above is my family. It is probably the first picture I have ever posted of all four of us together. Even this picture is about a year old now. My son has grown 8″-10″ and I think the moms are starting to shrink a few. Just wanted to share who you are reading about every day when I post my thoughts and recipes.
But today is an important day for us.
Twenty years ago today, on a hillside in New York, my partner and I stood before 120 of our friends and family and told each other how we wanted to spend our lives together. At that time our “marriage,” or “union” as it was called at that time, was not legal in any state. But, it was important to us that our friends and family knew we were seriously committed to each other and our relationship. We wanted them to view us as any other couple they knew that were fully committed to each other. So, we did what most people do when they want to show a sign of commitment to each other and held a wedding. Many of our friends and family at the time did not even realize it wasn’t legal. For years after we got the question, “But, didn’t you really get married?”
Sixteen years later, to the day, with our two children standing next to us, we again proclaimed our love and commitment to each other again, in a courthouse this time, when we became legally married. Nothing changed between us other than that piece of paper from the state but it gave me better legal standing, even with all the documents we had drawn up by our lawyer, that if anything were to happen to one of us or the children, we were covered in most states to represent them and each other.
So, today is our 20th and 4th Anniversary all at once. What changed with us between those two dates and now? Everything and nothing. We grew up. We brought two little people into this world. Many of the relationships that were broken during the time of our first wedding were repaired. Suddenly all the petty stuff, on both sides, doesn’t matter so much when you have two little beings that you want to raise to become good people and productive members of society. For awhile we lost ourselves in the day-to-day enormity of parenting a special needs child. We didn’t realize it at the time but now as we have come through it we look back in awe at what we made it through, together, when many couples don’t.
I awake each day and go to sleep each night knowing I am loved. She works hard to provide for our family and trying to make our life better. She kills the bugs, plays in the dirt and makes the phone calls – all things I hate doing and she knows, so she takes care of them for me. She can still make me laugh in the worst of circumstances and realize there is nothing we can’t do together. So, I say thank you to her for 20 years of love, joy and laughter. Because it is with all three of those we look ahead to many, many more happy years together.