Moving Into the Sandwich Generation


About a year and a half ago I wrote a blog post “Standing on the Edge of the Sandwich Generation” (click for link to original blog post) about a visit my daughter and I made to visit my parents. I knew at that time that they were starting to have a bit of “trouble” getting around. Nothing pressing just normal age related things but I knew at that time they were not going to get any younger.

We are heading back down to visit them. I have been listening to my mother’s calls and reports on her and my father’s health. I have been trying to be present on the phone when I can but as they live 12-13 hours away I just have not been able to be there physically. That I believe, I will find out, has been a mistake.

Thinking about those moments when you will need to step in and how you don’t want to take away their independence is tough. There are tough conversations ahead but I hope to begin them now before we are in crisis mode and don’t have a plan or know what they would want us to do.

So, tough. I watched my mother go through this with her mother about 20 years ago and my partner and her family go through this with my mother-in-law 4-5 years ago. I know what lies ahead but we are somehow never prepared for it. How can it be 2018 and we are not prepared to care for our older adults? Shouldn’t we have figure this out by now.

6 Comments Add yours

  1. syl65 says:

    We are so use to seeing our parents do for themselves that we tend to not fully realize what it means for them to get older and start to slow down with age. I experienced this with my mom over the past 5 – 10 years. Thank you for sharing, Marci.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. koolaidmoms says:

      It is so true. I have a picture in my head of the age everyone is and it is always off. My nieces and nephews are 16 or 17 not 35 and 40 in my head. It is hard to think about.

      Like

      1. syl65 says:

        My niece has outgrown me by height. It is so funny whenever I see her.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Erika Kind says:

    It is such a peculiar situation when the roles switch and what our parents always did for us all of a sudden we need to do. I saw too with my former mother-in-law and with my mom caring for her mom. She also tried not to touch her own independence more than necessary and tried to involve her in every decision. I understand you very well since I often think of this all too watching my mom. All is well so far but time passes and I see the changes…I wish you all the best, Marci💖

    Liked by 1 person

    1. koolaidmoms says:

      Thanks, Erika.

      Liked by 1 person

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