Back to School: The Passage of Time


This is one of my favorite quotes. It is not about making memories it is about having fun and laughing and when we look back those will be the memories.  I am in a bit of a strange place right now. This is not a recipe post. This is about me post. Life has a way of sneaking into our writings even when we try to keep it separate but I feel I need to step aside for a moment and write about life.

Three or so years ago my father was having an MRI on his spine when they “accidentally” found a spot on his liver. It was small but they found Liver Cancer. It was totally by accident and they said when they find primary liver cancer this is usually how it is found, by accident. My father has been watching it for three years. He will be 80 years old this year. That used to sound so old to me. Now, not so much. You always think someone dies later in life that they lived a long great life and that is good. But, the truth is you are never ready to let go. There is so much more I want him to see and do.  I just found out he always wanted to go to Alaska. He even talked about moving there when he and my mom first got together. I never knew this. I wish I had known before now.

I wish I could take him to Alaska or at least home with me. He is housebound now. Even taking him out in a wheelchair puts him in too much pain. I don’t want to see him hurt anymore but I also don’t want to let him go.

But, he has decided to stop all treatments. it is his choice and my mother is okay with it as she can be. She has been with him as his sole caretaker for the past several years. She is tired and it is hard on her too. We will be heading to see them soon to talk about where we see things going and what plans we need to make. I know so many have been through this before me. I always thought this is almost 2020 why haven’t we worked out the best way to help our family and friends at this time of life?

9 Comments Add yours

  1. renxkyoko says:

    I’m truly sorry to hear your father is not well. My prayers are with you all. Stay strong .

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  2. Robyn says:

    I’m sorry. Thinking of you and sending prayers.

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  3. Thoughts and prayers are with you xx

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  4. I’m so sorry to hear this! Sending big hugs and prayers 💕💕💕

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  5. Erika Kind says:

    I am so sorry too, Marci. it is very hard when even understandable that at one point a person is not willing to fight anymore. I am glad you respect your dad’s decision and look ahead with everyone how to simply enjoy what is given. The quote says it all and I love it in many ways. Sending all of you warm and loving thoughts and strengthening hugs. Lots of love 💖

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  6. My condolences to you and your family. I think it is hard to let go at any age.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. koolaidmoms says:

      So very true. Thank you.

      Like

  7. Oh so sorry to hear about your father my dear friend. Just know that every moment shared with him will be precious. Time shared with someone you love just talking is worth a lifetime of vacations. I’m sending my best wishes and hopes to you.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. artandicon says:

    Eighty is a long, full life. The only problem for us younger people is we’d rather have a long, full life with the ones we love also. Yet, we can understand how disease can make our days tired and painful. Enjoy the days you have left in this world with your parents, and treasure their memories in the days to come. We never “lose a loved one” if we keep their memories alive in our hearts and minds. I’ve buried both my parents but I still love them with all my heart. Be well.

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