Day 28 – Next week my wife will be furloughed by her company. We have known this was coming for a few weeks. It will be short-term but we are grateful because she will have a job to go back to. So many people we know right now are being laid off or out right let go not knowing if there will be a job or even a business to go back to. She works for an international company so though they are getting hit really hard she is fairly certain that she will be going back to work with only a few weeks off. The ones I feel bad for are the people who are getting emails that their jobs are over and their insurance is being canceled that day. Sure there is COBRA but most people cannot even afford that anymore.

I am grateful that we are trying to do our part locally to help out. Since we are spending almost no money, other than TONS of groceries, we have been ordering dinner out once a week or so. Because we live in such a small “city” most of the restaurants are closed or are closing but we have had some great meals. We have also ordered books from our local book store and shopped for some thread and notions at our local 5&10 Variety Store. After spending $300-$400 a month in gas alone it feels like we have a bit more to share now that we are adding gas once every 2-3 weeks. This past week it was $9 to fill the car with gas.  Yes, we are spending far more on groceries with all four of us being home eating ALL THE TIME but we are grateful to be able share what extra we have.

I am grateful my little family is all together. We have several friends that are single and I know some of them are starting to struggle with being alone all the time. Then there are our friends who have family spread far and wide. Not seeing grandparents, parents, and children is tough when you know they live not too far away but you cannot see them. Zoom and everything are great but it is just not the same as hugging your babies and being able to take care of them during this time.

I am grateful that we are now prepared if the governor orders a stay in place and NO going out for almost anything. We are almost there now but I can see them closing restaurants, stores other than grocery, and everything except grocery stores, pharmacies, and gas stations real soon.  We are fortunate enough to have a stocked freezer, refrigerator and pantry.  I know we are lucky. There are many who couldn’t do this and struggle with food instability. I realized the other day as I was making a shopping list in anticipation of the next steps that I struggle with having enough food in the house because of past times when there was not enough and the cupboards were bare.  We can shop and our cupboards are not bare but I always have a bit of a fear of it not being there so I realized that is why I stock up so much. I don’t ever want to be without again. I am grateful we have been able to be prepared.

So, through this all as there are times of sadness, anger, and anxiety I need to remember to be grateful. There are times that the sadness, anger, and anxiety will take over, and that’s okay. I give myself permission for ALL my feelings right now. And for that I am grateful.